"But what if the parents are poor and they start having to many kids isn't that unfair to the children."
Ok, there are a lot of fundamental issues involved in this question/statement, so it's difficult to know where to begin. I think I'll have to start by asking what is a greater poverty, lack of material possessions, or lack of selfless love and giving of life?
Before we can address the issue of fairness, we have to address this issue concerning the true nature of poverty. Westerners, and particularly Americans, live in the most powerful, affluent, decadent society ever created by Mankind. Only the Roman Empire could compete in terms of relative affluence, and I'd say the average American has vastly more than the average Roman ever did in terms of material wealth. And yet, the vast majority of human history has been dominated by societies which are poorer than American society, while the families within those societies consistently had far more children than industrialized and wealthy nations today have. That's right, the poorest epochs of human history have also involved larger families.
The reasons for this are numerous, and here are some basic utilitarian ones. Agrarian societies that have a more vibrant farm and rural life tend to need more children for the extra hands to man the farm. Early industrial societies likewise involve families flocking to cities and needing more money, so children with income potential were a boon to any family trying to survive in this new environment. Not to mention the fact that while contraceptives and abortions still occurred, they were nowhere near the norm they are at today.
The fact remains that despite poverty, families have historically been able to have more than one or two children, in fact greater numbers of children often was an aid to the family, not a problem. It's only relatively recent child labor laws that have altered that in many respects, and the artificial construct of a "childhood" in the modern world which never existed before. By this I mean that children were only children for a short while, the things people now write off as childish behavior in teenagers being acceptable would never have been two hundred years ago, let alone two thousand years ago. Human persons have the ability to live adult lives much earlier than they now are expected to, now they are expected to be immature and hedonistic for at least 20 years before they grow up. Which of course feeds into the problem, which is not poverty, it's selfishness.
The reason the richest societies in the world have stopped having children isn't because they can't afford them. This is a myth perpetuated by those who would rather not face the truth. And the truth is that these societies have become more enamored of material wealth and possessions than they have of family and children. The question people ask themselves, and the excuse they rationalize to allow for their behavior is whether they can afford to have children and maintain the same level of pure selfish materialism that they have enjoyed prior to having children. Families used to exist and function just fine with half a dozen kids and their parents living in two room homes. Now mansions are virtually empty and devoid of life because the people who live in them cannot sacrifice their comforts for children, or they have one "designer baby," and stop there, spoiling their child rotten and condemning that child to the same expected level of wealth.
We have constructed a world in which material wealth is all that matters, and having children gets in the way of amassing more of it. Children mean sacrifice, they mean loving someone more than you love the things in your life, the luxuries and pleasures. And children, as joyous and pleasurable as they are can also be big, messy pains. They break things, they keep you up at night, they get sick and require you to stay home, etc. The converse, in a world where contraceptives and abortions are plentiful is far more attractive to people used to living in perpetual pleasure and wealth. So they do. And in so doing they've created a new poverty, a poverty that involves the loss of one of the greatest joys of existence, which is sharing in the Creator's joy, and self giving in love. The real question we need to start asking ourselves is not whether we can afford to have kids, it's whether we can afford NOT to.
Now, there was a concern in your question addressing the subject of fairness. The fundamental problem with any question of the fairness of a given action is that fairness itself is non-existent. The belief in something being fair is based on a human sense of entitlement to a given thing or action. If we believe ourselves entitled to something, and yet we do not receive it, we believe ourselves victims of unfairness. The fact of the matter, however, is that upon examination it must be admitted that humans are entitled to virtually nothing in this life. Our very existence is, if one is a theist, a GIFT from God, not an entitlement. And even if one is an atheist, it still has to be admitted that our existence can be nothing more than accident, it is certainly not something we are entitled to. So what does fairness really mean, since it cannot mean we're entitled to something?
If it is to mean anything valuable at all, fairness must refer to whether something is Just or not. Which means that having children is probably not part of it to begin with. God, who is Just, has blessed human kind and desires us to be fruitful and multiply and share in the ability to give life and create. Anyone making the argument that giving the highest good is unjust is going to have a difficult time.
So when you ask whether it would be somehow unfair to children whose parents have lots of children as opposed to a few, even when they are poor and cannot provide all the material comforts of modern Western society, I have to say no. Children, indeed human beings, are not entitled to material comfort, and the act of procreation is in fact giving someone the great gift of existence, the highest good there is. Therefore, it certainly cannot be said to be unfair to the child or children born into a large, poor family. If anything, I'd be more worried about the children born to wealthy parents who are not taught the joys of family life, of the value of large families and sharing in Creation with God. They are the ones most likely to grow up spoiled, selfish, and weak. Children who live lives with the great wealth of a strong, vibrant family, seem far likelier to be less spoiled, less worried about material things, more interested in the value of family, etc. They're vastly more lucky than those born into the poverty of materialism.
second point, i have no doubt they weren't playing telephone... you just have
to admit some stuff get changed on purpose because some would want the
teachings to go bad and some would do it by mistake... whatever the case...
no teaching could have survived by oral speach.
maybe giving you an alternative example would give you a better look at it:
when muslims deal with something that is supposadly said by prophet
muhamad they go through every person that has narrated it.
meaning: how did the author narrate this saying? person a told person b
who told person c who told person d..... who told person x that he heard the
prophet say: ...
the muslim scholar would have to investigate every person that is in that
chain to make sure he was a trustworthy person, this way and only this way
would we know that what we are taught is what was said by the prophet
himself.
where can we find that in the oral teachings of the early christians? what's to
prove they passed everything right?
what's to prove the documents we have that are supposedly writing by the
disciples of christ are trusyworthy.. do we have a chain of trusty ppl passing
it from one to another... or do we have the surfacing version after the nicaea
convention?
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Third point, i must disagree. the christians were divided before nicaea and
were still divided afterwards. proof, the scholars in the 6th century that
believed in christ as a prophet and were waiting for a new prophet to
come... of course you wouldnt hear of those persons in christian teachings
because they didnt believe in christ as a god. the people that were
believers in christ as a prophet and lived to meet mohamad believed in him
too. i can mention waraqa bin nawfal who has studied scripture and was the
only follower of christ in mecca and salman al farisi who spent time as a
servent among few scholars that told him to follow the prophet to come...
i can give you another example, though i wouldn't consider this source
trustworthy but just to make a point: birnaba's gospel which is said to be
written by birnaba, adresses the idea that Jesus is not God but rather a
prophet and it even talks about Mohamad being a prophet. however,
birnaba's gospel isn't considered divine by muslims. but we look at it as a
comfirmation that christ's teaching were lost.
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your point on church's authority:
though you make some good point however i must disagree... the only
authority God gives is to his prophets, anyone disapproving the prophet
simply has no authority.
another idea which comes to mind is the authority of the church and its
teachings.
number one, where is its authority now if everything is ruled by seperated
countries?
number two, slavery existed all the way up to the 20th century. which means
that at some point the church had the authority to put an end to it and never
did. did christ teach us to take slaves? if no, how do u explain that the
church never ended slavery. if yes, why has the church stopped teaching us
about it?
number three, if the church had a divine authority, we wouldn't have prophet
mohamad (he came because we needed someone to guide the way)
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on a seperate point, you talked about the church existing since a long
consistant period of time... this point is doomed to fall because there are religions that date back to more than the church does...
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the idea of a gap between the arians and muslim is a good point.. i add to it the fact that the last scholar, whose servent was salman al farisi(someone i mentioned earlier), told him that he knows no one that believed the same things he does, therefore salman should go and try to find the prophet to come...
why do they differ in teachings... i guess the basic idea which is to believe in God and in christ as a prophet would have been enough to say that they had the same basic ideas.
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"we need an inspired, authoritative teacher, which is a living institution,
as opposed to a book or set of writings."
i disagree, when you look at the christians world and teachings you are right.
but look at islam, the prophet mohamad's teaching and the Quran which is the book of God is enough to get you through any choice without commiting mistakes... in short, the prophet pretty much told us about everything we need. the remaining stuff could be figured out by men. it's as simple as what did the porphet had to say about this.
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i hope you understand that this, the stuff i write are not to prove myself right or just to argue. i am just pointing out stuff and trying to find the right path. i hope it is the same for you. i hope i give your readers something interesting and helpful
may God lighten your path,
DIGA"
