On re-ordering

Continuing my musings from yesterday, I had originally intended to delve into another aspect of spirituality today, but instead find myself returning after some more thoughts occurred to me on the subject of order and cleanliness today before, during and after Mass.

I found myself thinking about the idea of re-ordering. I believe that cleaning a room is re-ordering it, ie a room generally starts out empty, has things put into it, usually in a pretty orderly fashion, and over time that order decays and the room becomes messier and more chaotic in arrangement. I think the same principle applies to our souls and spiritual lives as well, as stated previously. And so we have the process of taking a place which has become disordered and re-ordering it. Putting things away into their proper places, clearing away trash, cleaning, etc. all are part of that re-ordering process. What struck me about this process that I only briefly, if at all, touched on yesterday was that this was tremendously similar to penitence, particularly of the Catholic variety.

The first idea that struck me was the fact that re-ordering is essentially an opportunity not just to put back things where they were before, but to re-arrange. When you're cleaning up a room is the best time to re-arrange furniture, alter the decorations, etc. all of which can have a profound impact on how you view and use the room, which in turn alters your attitude while inside it. Penitence and penance offer us the same opportunity in our spiritual journeys. They not only provide us with that chance to return to a clean and ordered slate, but further grant us a moment when we can redirect ourselves to God and take stock of our situation. This is metanoia, the interior conversion of the soul, and it is a natural part of this process of repentance, and works well within the metaphor.

The next idea to occur to me was concerning how little I go to confession, particularly for a practicing Catholic. I often find myself working, or otherwise reticent to confess, and I have a particularly hard time bringing myself to repent if I do not believe I will be able to stop sinning whatever sin(s) are most particularly troubling me. I found myself comparing this with my own arguments over making my bed with my parents. If I'm just going to mess it up again that night when I go to sleep, why bother making it? I've unconsciously been applying this same logic (or lack thereof) to my spiritual life. If I'm just going to sin again, I can't confess because it won't be legitimate, even if I am repenting.

This attitude is particularly poisonous, and I think I've finally come upon the answer to it, at least for myself (though don't hold your breath on the bed making bit just yet...). When you live a messy lifestyle, you become more and more innurred to it, to the point where you tolerate more mess gradually, because you're used to it. Thus it becomes harder and much less likely that you'll ever clean up and re-order everything. The same is true of sin. The more you sin, the harder it is to repent and re-order your life. This is why habitual cleaning, and habitual repentance and penance are so important. By building up this continual process of repentance, this process of cleaning yourself, you make it so that you are less and less able to tolerate sin in your life. I found myself thinking of it in mathematical terms, which means it must be important, as I generally avoid mathematics like the plague. Picture an asymptotic line approaching infinity. This is the spiritual path for us on Earth. We cannot attain perfect holiness in this life. We are human, we do sin and fall, for some only occassionally, for others fairly often, for me, all the time. The objective of a penitential lifestyle where one is continually re-ordering and re-orienting oneself towards God is to gradually approach the holiness to which we are called and which God will perfect in us (hopefully) after our physical deaths.

And if you recall your old calculus lessons, yes, at first those asymptotic approaches demand some pretty radical alteration. They take some big jumps and re-arranging to truly effect, and these changes in lifestyle are not possible without God. Remember that each point on that line is another act of renewal, another act of penitence, another moment of re-ordering. Of cleaning. You're not going to go from one end of the spectrum to the other over night (or at least, most people don't), but you can do it by gradually building in yourself those habits of cleanliness, both in the interior and exterior, by which you can approach true holiness and communion with God and the Saints before you.

This is why confession is so important, this is why you should never wait years, or even months between confession, unless you've truly gone that long without sin (and if you have, bravo!). Each time you confess, you are cleaned off and re-oriented towards God. You wouldn't shower once every year or three, so why treat your soul with any less consideration? Making confession a habit, a practice and process of continual re-ordering, rejustifying, re-sanctifying of yourself to God is probably the first step for any adult Catholic seeking to grow in love and faith with God.

God Bless,